If you tell someone, then you have to do it… so here goes…
everything!
I am deeming today the first day of the rest of my life.
I am using this blog as an anonymous way to document my journey. The ride I will take to experience, both giving and receiving support, pleasure, laughter and love in life!!
It’s only 11:00 AM and I have nursed a baby, three times, worked for two different clients, fed a toddler breakfast, put her in her choice ballerina outfit and am writing a post.
So, there, I said it. I’m changing/upgrading/living the best life I can and only the best will do. I am pushing forward and only taking those with me who get on board with my new plan. Live life each day, the best way we can. For ourselves, for our children, sisters, brothers, spouses, parents, our passions, our health!
For my entire life, I have put myself last, accepting abandonment and emotional abuse from parents, friends, spouses and bosses. Today is the day that I have healed and am done accepting anything but the best!
Please join me in this. Anyone that needs a friend, blog or little nudge to get on the right track again and life the best life that they can and dig out of a hole of loneliness, sadness, mistreatment, disappointment or hurt and get on the path to happiness, love, kindness and living a fabulous life, EVERY DAY!
Well, I did it. I made it through the day, begun and ended it the best way I could.
One unnamed person in my life has a knack for pointing out the negative things or lack of perfection in me, often and usually upon immediate interaction with me, while often referring to themselves as a ninja, stating they could ‘raise the bar’, even in situations where they have little or no experience or education. Additionally, discounting anything that they ever do wrong, lacking apology or remorse in most situations where they have hurt or wronged others. When approached with a concern or topic in which they are addressed for collaboration or improvement or help on their part, calling this type of communication “criticism” and discounting any credibility to the discussion or need for attention or their participation in improvement.
Yesterday, upon seeing this person, I was told of opinions of me and the state of my vehicle (which had toys and coats and some things for retail return in it), as having “garbage” in it and being a mess, etc…in other snide comments throughout the evening, comments how they are organized and I am not, even convincing me that I had lost something, despite my statements that I had never removed it from my home, to further prove their point, continued on about it, when it was actually located later that evening in a perfectly normal place, nothing was said, just silence and ignorance, as if the conversations and elevations of voice and character attacks never occurred.
This morning as I entered my car, I couldn’t help but immediately remember this negative interaction, and looked around. There was no “garbage”, It had actually just been vacuumed, yes there was some clutter, but no dirt or garbage at all. Mind you, this is a 7 seater, large vehicle!
Usually, I would have felt bad about myself and immediately rectified the perceived problem to appease the spewer of insults and make myself feel better as the insulted.
For the first time in my life, I realized that the problem was not me or the car, it was the person’s pleasure and ability in making me feel small or not as good as they see themselves. Throughout my life I have spent much time around people like this and endless hours and years chasing their approval and affection.
After these thoughts, I sent a message defending the state of my car, but more importantly, myself. Asserting that the next time I see this person, I would appreciate them keeping their negativity and insults to themselves and if they have nothing nice to say, say nothing to me, please.
We all have control over how we allow others to treat us, our reactions to this and how they make us feel!!!! Until today, I hadn’t been able to accept these statements.
I had a miraculous evening, enjoying every moment with my children, cooking, playing, feeding them, talking with them, reveling in the moment with them and not worrying about the perceptions of the person who’d just 1 day ago felt it necessary to focus on and verbally attack what they see as wrong in me or my actions, instead of appreciating or acknowledging openly, the great person that I am and things I did yesterday or any other day of my life.
My thoughts, reactions, feeling and assertiveness were controlled my me today. No one else. I drove the car today. I was not a passenger!
Take a ride with me 